How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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