i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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