My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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