Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
