i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The air taste purple.
Randomize
