Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
