O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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