We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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