I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
