We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
