i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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