I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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