first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
