I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
