if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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