Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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