Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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