Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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