He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
