I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
