Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
