So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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