Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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