So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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