you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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