the condom got lost in my hair
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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