people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
