I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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