I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
