Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
ttyl tear gas
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
