You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
