I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
