I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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