I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
