if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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