I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
