no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
