Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
