Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
