Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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