So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize