sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
