He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
