Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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