And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize