I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
