well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
