I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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