PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
