i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
