I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When did angry sex become our thing?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
