only if we run a train.
done.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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