Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Randomize
