were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
cat food counts as protein by the way
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
