Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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