He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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