I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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