Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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