Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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