I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
